"Even though sometimes the world seems about six sizes too small for our pain, the amazing shit is that no matter how deep purple the bruise is, no matter how dark and overwhelming and miserable and worthless it all seems the world will get a fraction of an inch bigger every day."
Anonymous asked: I'm the anon you reblogged from anonvent, about the open relationship? Thank you do much. I confronted my boyfriend and gave him an ultimatum: let me be your one and only, or not have me at all. It seemed to flip a switch in his brain. He apologized and begged forgiveness for hurting me and ever asking me for something he knew I couldn't give him. We haven't fought in two weeks, and I just want to thank you for your advice, however unsolicited. You helped me save the best thing I've ever had.
I’m so glad that you managed to work things out with your partner! I hope things continue to work out, and that you guys both keep talking it out.
"I told you that it could be an open relationship if that’s what you need. Looking up, seeing the quiet flame of joy behind your beautiful eyes shredded my heart into tiny little fragments that blew away in the early evening wind. I don’t know what to say, just the thought of having to share you makes my already broken heart ache like I’ve never felt before. I’m selfish, I know. But do you blame me? I’ve always known you’re too good for me. Baby, I love you. Too much. Please don’t do this to me."
Dear Monogamous Person,
Dear All Monogamous Persons,
Please, please, please don’t go along with open or polyamorous relationships unless you are actually capable of being open or polyamorous. These sorts of arrangements only work when everyone involved is on-board and honest. It’s okay if you feel jealousy, everyone does. But if you’re actually incapable of anything other than monogamy don’t pretend you are. It will only end with everyone feeling completely emotionally shredded and betrayed.
It’s not selfish if monogamy is something you need, just like there’s nothing wrong with your partner needing openness. It just might mean that you aren’t completely compatible. Either way you won’t be able to work anything out unless you bring it up and talk it out.
"I’m 17. I’m a virgin. I’ve never even really dated a boy, kissed one, held hands with one. Nothing. …I feel so inexperienced. I started watching porn. And masturbating. Now I feel super worthless. I don’t have any sexual experience whatsoever, yet I’m mindlessly pleasuring myself to images I can’t really connect to. I hope nobody finds out and this is just a phase I grow out of. I want to grow up, get married, and have a normal, healthy, sexual relationship with my husband. …Time will tell.."
Do you know what, lady that I’ve never met? I was a virgin at 17 too. Do you know what else? So was pretty much everyone I knew. A number of my good, well adjusted, healthy friends have remained virgins well into their twenties. None of them have shriveled into sexually-defunct cannibalistic zombies… yet.
It may seem right now as though everyone else has been having all this sex and you’re missing out (and being psychologically scarred in the process), but the truth is that a lot of people lie about their sexual experience. Or at least imply that they’ve done more or less than they have. Sexual experience is not the magic pill that makes for happiness and good sex later in life.
Lady friend, relax. There’s nothing wrong with watching porn and masturbating. It’s a perfectly valid way to work out your sexual energy and discover yourself without having sex. It won’t keep you from getting married or being “normal”. I promise you that somewhere on this planet, right now, your future husband/fuck buddy is probably watching porn and jerking it to his hearts content. He will probably continue doing so after you’ve had your idyllic Martha Stewart wedding and have run off on your gorgeous honeymoon in Hawaii where you will have lots of “normal” “healthy” sex. Hey, maybe you guys can jerk off and watch porn together! Bonding!
If porn gets you off and keeps you from tearing your hair out because you don’t have a Special Friend, go ahead and watch it. If you don’t actually like the porn you watch, why don’t you try another genre of porn. Or no porn at all.
…Or some fanfiction. I’ve got links.
Gay sex, straight sex, nongendered/queer sex. Initiating sex is always impossible.
“What are you in to” makes for great dirty talk. So does: “I want you to pound my throbbing love-meat”.
Oral sex is sex. That’s why it’s got the word “sex” in it.